


Rules of Estrangement (don't fall in love)

by ussdawntreader



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, The Middleman (TV)
Genre: Cookies, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/M, Good and Evil, MILD PROFANITY GUISE. D:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-21
Updated: 2008-10-21
Packaged: 2018-03-26 15:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3855208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ussdawntreader/pseuds/ussdawntreader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A ficmix for the unlikely lovestory that is Wendy Watson and Dr. Horrible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rules of Estrangement (don't fall in love)

**Author's Note:**

> Don't even pretend like you don't love it. I tried to capture the sweetness of the music in Dr. Horrible (LAUNDRY DAY/SEE YOU THERE) and some of the intentional cheesiness of The Middleman. Enjoy!

♩. **Margot & the Nuclear So and Sos - Barfight Revolution, Power Revolution**

"Dubbie, remember when I told you that the world really is like the world of comic books?" The Middleman paused in polishing the Middlegun to look over at his ~~sidekick~~ protogee.

She kept her head down, continuing to clean the Middlepistol. "Kind of hard to forget when dealing with slime monsters on a weekly basis, but yeah."

"Well, like any self-respecting hero, I have a nemesis, Dr. Horrible. Until recently, he's been very quiet, but the H.E.Y.D.A.R. has picked up some activity and it looks like the Evil League of Evil is on the move."

Wendy finally raised her head. "Really? The Evil League of Evil? Is that an offshoot of the Obvious Society?"

"Laugh at their misbegotten attempts at stealth all you want, Dubbie, but the E.L.E. is deadly serious. I managed to take down the old leader, Bad Horse, last year but it's still going strong under Dr. Horrible."

Quickly reassembling her weapon, Wendy asked, "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's take this dbag down!"

 

♪. **Ben Folds featuring Regina Spektor - You Don't Know Me**

 

"Robin the Boy Hostage, once more with feeling," Wendy sighed as she was roughly shoved by two evil henchman into Dr. Horrible's secret lair. She was deposited-again, _roughly_ -onto an uncomfortable metal chair in a dark lab-type room.

"Well, well...the Middleperson. Excellent."

Wendy blinked at him. He didn't look especially - well, horrible. Except for the safety goggles, which weren't a particular fashion choice she would have made. "Oh no, the dastardly Dr. Horrible - I'll never tell you anything. Never."

Now it was Dr. Horrible's turn to blink. "Wow. Sarcasm -"

"'That's original.' Save it, I've seen your blog."

"Fine. Let's get right into then. I will systematically torture you every hour until the Middleman sees fit to start negotiations and/or rescue you." He adjusted his gloves in what was probably supposed to be a menacing manner.

"Oh no," Wendy deadpanned. "Whatever shall I do?"

Dr. Horrible was interrupted mid-maniacal laugh by a sigh. And not the sigh of a melancholic, hopeless sidekick, but rather, a sigh of ... _boredom_. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was my diabolical plan boring you?"

"Actually, yes," Wendy replied. "I'd like to see something original for once. Instead of torturing me, why don't you try to convert me with cookies or video games or something?"

The doctor's brow wrinkled ~~adorably~~ in confusion. "Why would I want to convert you? The League is full."

"I'm sure you don't have anyone with as much knowledge of the Middleman! ...Not that I would give it up. Not without cookies and conversion."

The doctor just chuckled. "Oh please, Middleperson. You probably don't even know who the Middleman works for."

"How did you know about O2STK?" Wendy demanded, trying not to let him see how shocked she was.

"Because, little Wendy Watson. I used to be just like you. I was going to be the next Middleman."

 

♫. **She & Him - You Really Gotta Hold On Me**

 

Dr. Horrible used to be a Middleman-in-training. Wendy had dealt with all kinds of weird things (up to and including evil paper-mache, slime monsters, zombies, vampire puppets) but this was beyond weird. It was unfathomable.

And even more unfathomable? Wendy was starting to like him. Sure, they had their fundamental differences (good versus evil and all that). But he was all right when he wasn't plotting to kill her boss.

Not that Wendy was getting converted. Not even when he guessed her favourite cookies (rainbow chocolate chip) and baked them himself. Not even a little.

And besides, she reasoned, you can't _really_ get a ph.D in horribleness.

But that was after he kissed her.

 

♬. **Lenka - Live Like You're Dying**

 

"So what really happened?"

"Sensei Ping happened."

"?"

"The Middleman fights to preserve world order and I have always wanted to change it. He saw that I wasn't really what a Middleman should be and I was left to try something new."

"Aloo gobi?"

"No, supervillainy."

"..."

 

☂. **Coconut Records - Summer Day**

 

Can good guys and bad guys live happily ever after?

 

The question is on the doctor's mind after a blistering argument. It was about nothing and it was about everything. He left her in his room and went to his lab to calm down. Standard, right?

He went back to the room and Wendy Watson was gone. She wasn't in the kitchen, in the lab, in the bathroom...

"I guess that answered that question," Dr. Horrible muttered, as the last piece of his heart broke.

 

♭. **Ingrid Michaelson - Be OK (acoustic)**

 

"Dubbie, I don't know what to say."

Wendy Watson could have handled it if he'd been mad. Even furious and cussed her out. But the bitter disappointment in his big eyes was the worst.

Even four hours straight on Gut Wrencher III and a panful of Lacey's vegan brownies couldn't cure her woe. Once she managed to convince herself to get off the couch and up to her bedroom, she found a box of rainbow chocolate chip cookies. She threw them out.

The next day, she found an advance copy of Gut Wrencher IV in her PS2. She didn't throw that out.

 _Well_ , Dr. Horrible thought from her fire escape, _it's a start_.

 

♯. **Sondre Lerche & Lillian Samdal - Modern Nature**

 

"Dubbie, trouble on the horizon! The E.L.E. is under new management."

"What? What happened to Dr. Horrible?"

Her boss just shrugged. "I don't want to be the nemesis of the Purple Pimp," he said sadly.

And at that moment, the front door of Jolly Fats Wehawkin Temp Agency opened.

"Hey! Are you interested in the exciting world of temporary employment?"

"No." And then the newcomer whipped out what looked like a phased polaron cannon and shot the Middleman in the chest, freezing him instantly.

"Come on, Middleperson," Dr. Horrible said, holding out his hand. "I know from experience that freezing won't last long."

"We can't do this forever, you know," Wendy said, taking his hand.

"No, but it works for now."


End file.
